2021年1月23日 星期六

Boundaries Are Our Friends!

Don't tell anyone your baby's name before birth.
A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.
Golden Cosmos

In my ongoing quest to stop bumming you out, I bring you two entertaining pieces about baby names — a topic that allows us all to bring some judgmental glee to even the gloomiest day. My personal advice to you: Don't tell anyone your kid's name until that child is born and the ink on the birth certificate is dry, otherwise you're going to get an earful from half the people you know. "You're naming your daughter Molly? There was a Molly I hated in high school!"

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First, we have Jancee Dunn on the baby names that are trending during the pandemic. She talked to Pamela Redmond, chief executive of the website Nameberry, who told Jancee that parents want names with a positive spin:

Views of the name Zora, for example, which means "dawn" and suggests new beginnings, are up 40 percent, Redmond said; while Alma ("soul" in Spanish) is up 37 percent. Lucius, which connotes "light," is up 24 percent. Other risers include Vivienne (from the Latin root Vivus, meaning "alive" or "lively"), Aurora (Roman goddess of the sunrise), Felix ("happy"), Frida ("peaceful") and Zuri ("good" in Swahili).

Also this week, Paula Span has a piece about when grandparents want a say in naming their grandchildren. (A good companion article: How to deal with interfering grandparents, by Carla Bruce-Eddings. Boundaries are our friends!) Lindsay Patterson recommends podcasts that your little kids will love (and you will be able to tolerate). Alexandra Stevenson and Cao Li report on a celebrity scandal involving a Chinese actress and surrogate pregnancy in America that is revealing complicated feelings about reproductive technology.

Our national desk has a wonderful series of articles about this unusual and challenging year for public school students: "13,000 School Districts, 13,000 Approaches to Teaching During Covid." It is worth your time to read about how very different districts from Providence, R.I., to Lubbock County, Texas, have handled the pandemic, and what we might learn from their successes and setbacks.

Finally, many parenting questions boil down to: Is this a thing, or is something wrong? We run an occasional series explaining why certain things seem to happen to your kid (or to your body or to your relationships) as your child grows. If you have a question for a future "Is this a thing?" email us.

Thanks for reading!

— Jessica Grose, columnist, NYT Parenting

THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

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Nicolás Ortega

From 'Alma' to 'Zuri,' Parents Are Looking for Positive Baby Names

They're searching the heavens, and through family history, for strong monikers in a pandemic.

By Jancee Dunn

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Luke Wohlgemuth

Generation Grandparent

When Grandparents Want a Say in Naming Their Grandchildren

The expectant parents spend weeks deciding on their new baby's name. Then the grandparents weigh in.

By Paula Span

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Maddy Price

A Big List of Podcasts for Little Kids

To keep your little ones occupied, look no further than the world of podcasts. Here are a few ideas for kids ages 2 to 6.

By Lindsay Patterson

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Visual China Group, via Getty Images

A Chinese Celebrity Scandal Puts Surrogate Births on Trial

The state news media excoriated an actress accused of abandoning babies born in the United States. Others say China's limits on reproductive techniques at home are outdated.

By Alexandra Stevenson and Cao Li

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Jenn Ackerman, Philip Keith, Christopher Lee and Victor J. Blue for The New York Times

13,000 School Districts, 13,000 Approaches to Teaching During Covid

To assess how public schools have navigated the pandemic and the impact on students, The Times examined seven representative districts. The answers were strikingly different.

By Kate Taylor

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Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let's celebrate the tiny victories.

My almost 11-year-old asked to set up a virtual sleepover with his three best friends — they had dinner over Zoom and then played video games together remotely while talking the whole time over FaceTime and staying up extra late. They were thrilled. — Jill Daino, New York City

If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us.

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Where do we go from here?

Chaos or community, indeed
Author Headshot

By Jamelle Bouie

Opinion Columnist

This weekend, I want to take the occasion of this past Martin Luther King's Birthday holiday to share a few quotes from one of his less well-known works, "Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or Community?" Published in 1967, it was his fourth and final book before his assassination the following year. Like much of his written work, it is very interested in tackling questions of political economy and their relationship to racial oppression. King had a keen sense of the ways in which the "Negro question" was a labor question, and he returned to that idea again and again in interviews, essays and books.

In chapter five of "Where Do We Go From Here," for example, King notes that poverty is endemic to market society and can't be eliminated by growth alone.

We have come a long way in our understanding of human motivation and of the blind operation of our economic system. Now we realize that dislocations in the market operation of our economy and the prevalence of discrimination thrust people into idleness and bind them in constant or frequent unemployment against their will. The poor are less often dismissed from our conscience today by being branded as inferior and incompetent. We also know that no matter how dynamically the economy develops and expands it does not eliminate all poverty.

His solution is a guaranteed income, "pegged to the median income of society," that would "automatically increase as the total social income grows."

But this chapter isn't just King laying out his vision for the welfare state. As in the rest of the book, he is sketching his view of what it means to live in a democratic society. For King, poverty and inequality are as corrosive to the bonds of community as segregation. And so the point of a guaranteed income isn't just to alleviate suffering, but to make democratic life actually possible.

The contemporary tendency in our society is to base our distribution on scarcity, which has vanished, and to compress our abundance into the overfed mouths of the middle and upper classes until they gag with superfluidity. If democracy is to have breadth of meaning, it is necessary to adjust this inequity. It is not only moral, but it is also intelligent. We are wasting and degrading human life by clinging to archaic thinking.

The point of all of this isn't to make some statement about what King would or would not support today, but to use the opportunity of the holiday to remind everyone (and myself) that his thinking on race and discrimination was intertwined with his thinking on class, labor and the capitalist system, that King was, in fact, a thinker with valuable insights into the nature of American society.

You can find "Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or Community?" as a single volume or as part of "A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches." I recommend the latter if you want a truly comprehensive look at King's thought as it developed over the course of his life on the public stage.

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What I Wrote

My Tuesday column was on why we shouldn't expect the next Trump to come from the current crop of Republican politicians.

It's hard to overstate how important this was for Trump's first campaign. If modern American politics is entertainment as much as civics, then Trump was its star performer. And his audience, his supporters, could join in the performance. This is crucial. Trump could say whatever they wanted to hear, and they could take it in as part of the act, something — as one sympathetic observer wrote — to be taken seriously, not literally. Words that might have doomed any other Republican candidate, and which have in the past, meant nothing to the strength of Trump's campaign.

And my Friday column was a look at how our democracy barely weathered the Trump era and how the challenge before us is a radicalized and anti-democratic Republican Party.

In his Inaugural Address on Wednesday, Joe Biden said that after four years of Trumpian chaos — including two months of thrashing against the results of the election, culminating in an attack on the Capitol itself — "democracy" had "prevailed." But it might have been better, if inappropriate to the moment, for the new president to have said that democracy had "survived."

Last weekend, I was on CBS's "Sunday Morning" discussing the attack on the Capitol. During the week, I did a segment discussing voter fraud on CBSN, and I was also on the podcast "Why Are Dads?" talking about the Saw series of horror films.

Now Reading

Josephine Livingstone on Donald Trump's children, in The New Republic.

Richard Kreitner on the threat of disunion in The New York Review of Books.

Daniel Luban on conservative populism in Dissent magazine.

Susan Matthews on the departure of Donald Trump in Slate magazine.

Susan Watkins reviews Anne Applebaum's "Twilight of Democracy" for the New Left Review.

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Feedback
If you're enjoying what you're reading, please consider recommending it to your friends. They can sign up here. If you want to share your thoughts on an item in this week's newsletter or on the newsletter in general, please email me at jamelle-newsletter@nytimes.com.

Photo of the Week

This photo was taken during the election night party in 2017 for Doug Jones of Alabama, at the moment the U.S. Senate race was called in his favor. I chose it for this week because the expression here was how I felt when, on Wednesday, Joe Biden was inaugurated with much fanfare and little trouble.

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Now Listening

This week's playlist is a continuation of last week's. But where that one spanned about a half-decade, all of the music in this one is from a single year, 1993, which I think is one of the great years for hip-hop in terms of quality and creative output. You can listen to the whole thing here or with Apple Music. Hope you enjoy.

"Protect Ya Neck" by the Wu-Tang Clan

"Chief Rocka" by Lords of the Underground

"Who Got Da Props" by Black Moon

"We Can Get Down" by A Tribe Called Quest

"Six Feet Deep" by the Geto Boys

"Jeep Ass N****" by Masta Ace Incorporated

"I Ain't Goin' Out Like That" by Cypress Hill

"Let Me Roll" by Scarface

"You Know How We Do It" by Ice Cube

"93 'Til Infinity" by Souls of Mischief

Now Eating: Pressure Cooker Mushroom Risotto

A favorite of my toddler! This recipe comes from Serious Eats, and the only adjustment I made was to nix the miso paste, since I didn't have any on hand. I also used dried morel mushrooms instead of porcinis because that's what I had in the pantry. Serve with a crisp green salad.

Ingredients

  • 1 quart homemade or store-bought low-sodium chicken stock or vegetable stock
  • 1 ounce dried porcini mushrooms
  • 1½ pounds mixed mushrooms, such as shiitake, cremini, oyster and chanterelle, trimmed and thinly sliced, stems reserved
  • 4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 medium yellow onion, finely chopped
  • 2 medium cloves garlic, finely minced
  • 1½ cups risotto rice, such as arborio
  • 2 teaspoons soy sauce
  • 1 tablespoon light miso paste
  • ¾ cup dry white wine
  • ¼ cup heavy cream
  • 1 ounce finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, plus more for serving
  • handful finely minced mixed fresh herbs, such as parsley, chervil, tarragon and/or chives

Directions

Place chicken stock and dried mushrooms (if using) in a microwave-safe container and microwave on high power until simmering, about 5 minutes. Remove from microwave. Using a slotted spoon, transfer porcini to a cutting board and roughly chop. Add fresh mushroom scraps to container with porcini-infused stock and set aside.

Heat olive oil and butter in the base of a pressure cooker over high heat, swirling, until foaming subsides. Add fresh mushrooms, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring occasionally, until excess moisture has evaporated and mushrooms are well browned, about 8 minutes.

Add onion, garlic and chopped porcini (if using) and cook, stirring frequently, until onions are softened and aromatic, about 4 minutes. Add rice and cook, stirring, until rice is evenly coated in oil and toasted but not browned, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in soy sauce and miso paste (if using) until evenly incorporated.

Add wine and cook, stirring, until raw alcohol smell has cooked off and wine has almost fully evaporated, about 2 minutes.

Pour stock into pot through a fine-mesh strainer, discarding mushroom stems. Scrape any grains of rice or pieces of onion from side of pressure cooker so that they are fully submerged. Close pressure cooker and bring up to low pressure. Cook at low pressure for 5 minutes, then depressurize according to the instructions for your pressure cooker.

Open pressure cooker and stir to combine rice and cooking liquid; a creamy consistency should begin to develop. Stir in cream (if using), cheese and herbs. If risotto is too soupy, cook for a few minutes longer, stirring until it begins to thicken more. If it is too thick, stir in some hot water. It should flow slowly when you drag a trail through it with a spoon. Season to taste with salt and pepper and serve immediately on hot plates, passing extra cheese at the table.

Introducing: The Ezra Klein Show from New York Times Opinion
Every Tuesday and Friday beginning Jan. 26, Ezra Klein invites you to a conversation on something that matters. How do we address climate change if the political system fails to act? Has the logic of markets infiltrated too many aspects of our lives? What is the future of the Republican Party? Listen to the trailer here and subscribe to receive new episodes as soon as they're published.

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