Manifesting as a Mom-Shamer

Everyone is judging everyone during the pandemic.

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story September 12, 2020 A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting. Golden Cosmos Over the more than six months I have been reporting on pandemic parenting, multiple people I interviewed compared this experience to having a newborn. It’s because a coronavirus-laden world is brand new for us, and one filled with uncertainty. None of us are sure what the correct decisions are, and yet many of us seem to feel that a right decision exists — and there will be enormous, possibly deadly consequences if we can’t game it out. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT Rosemary Counter makes the case that this creates a perfect environment for parents to judge the ever-living daylights out of each other. “Internally, people lack confidence to navigate a novel and unpredictable situation; externally, they lack the social and structural support systems they desperately need,” Rosemary points out. “Put those two things together and one can manifest as a mom-shamer.” Also this week, we have two pieces on kids and language. One is a delightful essay from Priyanka Mattoo, about how she wants her kids to pick up on the sharp specificity of her native Kashmiri, even though they don’t speak the language. (This piece also taught me the phrase, “I hate it with both my eyes!” which I plan on deploying constantly.) The other is an article by Sophie Hardach, who, after her 3-year-old began speaking more German at home during the pandemic, turned up research that shows some children in multilingual homes are reverting to their parents’ mother tongues in quarantine. On the school front, we have a helpful piece from Kim Bosch about how to assess how much your child is learning during this unusual school year, when the typical forms of classwork and connection may not be happening. Melinda Wenner Moyer has a profile of Alberto Paniz-Mondolfi, an infectious disease expert who is trying to solve the mystery of MIS-C — multisystem inflammatory syndrome — in children, most of whom had Covid-19. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT Finally, thanks to NYT Parenting reader Diksha Basu, who asked us this question on Twitter: “What’s happening to all our small children’s immunities during all this time away from other children and the shared germs?” Here’s an answer to that question. If you have other questions about anything parenting-related, please drop us a line here, and I will try to answer them in future newsletters. Thanks for reading! — Jessica Grose, lead editor, NYT Parenting Coronavirus Schools Briefing The pandemic is upending education. Get the latest news and tips as students go back to school. Sign up Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING Hannah K. Lee   ‘I Hate It with Both My Eyes!’ I’m trying to teach my kids the sharp specificity of my native Kashmiri, even though they don’t speak the language. By Priyanka Mattoo Golden Cosmos   How to Tell if Distance Learning Is Working for Your Kid Measuring skills, not test scores, is key. By Kim Bosch Chang W. Lee/The New York Times   ‘A Fearless Virus Hunter’ Tackles a Coronavirus Mystery in Children Alberto Paniz-Mondolfi treated some of the world’s most horrendous infectious diseases before fleeing Venezuela. Now that experience is helping him untangle MIS-C. By Melinda Wenner Moyer Julianna Brion   Mom Shaming’s Running Rampant During the Pandemic With myriad back-to-school options to choose from, moms’ groups have hit judgment overload. By Rosemary Counter Tyler Comrie   In Quarantine, Kids Pick Up Parents’ Mother Tongues For some families, the pandemic has meant a return to their native languages. By Sophie Hardach Alex Kiesling   Is Staying Home Harming Your Child’s Immune System? Why exposure to other germy kids might matter. By Melinda Wenner Moyer Tiny Victories Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories. My 3 and 5 year old love to play Simon Says. We have been playing it at opportune times — Simon will often tell them to put their clothes on in the morning, to get in the bath, holds hands while crossing the street, pick up their toys … We are enjoying it while it lasts. — Erica Winter, New York, N.Y. If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for NYT Parenting from The New York Times. To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences. 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