Helicopter Mom vs. Jimmy Buffett Dad

December 12, 2020

A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.

Golden Cosmos

The comedian Michelle Buteau has boy-girl twins, and if you watch her new standup special, you’ll find out the ideal baby shower gift for any discerning mom: “I just need CBD oil and cash. That’s the new parent registry right there.” We are blessed to have a very funny essay from Michelle this week about how her parenting style clashes with her husband’s.

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She is from New Jersey, and her husband is Dutch. “These differences in our backgrounds have created an interesting push-and-pull,” Michelle writes. “And by ‘interesting,’ I mean annoying. To my husband, I’m not just a helicopter mom. I’m a drone-on-top-of-a-snowplow mom. To me, my husband is too casual and relaxed. Toddler time is not a Jimmy Buffett concert!”

Also this week, Connie Chang has tips to make sure your kids have a positive experience on social media. Anna Lee Beyer has a heart-rending essay about missing her parents and their holiday traditions, and trying to make Christmas special for her kids anyway. Jessica Delfino has a delightfully creepy piece about all the detritus we save from our children’s bodies. She talked to one mom who saved her first child’s dried-out umbilical cord and acknowledged, “It’s so weird and gross, but I can’t throw it out.” Christina Caron asks the question: Are cities safe during a pandemic? (Spoiler: nowhere is safe. Sad trombone).

Finally, Paula Span has a very sweet essay about her granddaughter’s first sleepover at her house, which reminded me exactly of my older daughter’s first overnight at her grandparents’, including the meltdowns as soon as mom and dad returned.

Thanks for reading!

— Jessica Grose, columnist, NYT Parenting

THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

Peyton Fulford for The New York Times

Helicopter Mom vs. Jimmy Buffett Dad

Comedian Michelle Buteau thought the hard part was over when she and her husband welcomed twins after struggling with infertility. Little did she know.

By Michelle Buteau

Tim Peacock

Are Cities a Safe Place to Live During a Pandemic?

Dense urban centers were vilified when the pandemic struck, rekindling the age-old town vs. country debate. We asked seven experts if the backlash was warranted.

By Christina Caron

Yann Kebbi

When You Can’t Go Home for the Holidays

A family holds tight to tradition in the face of the hardest year.

By Anna Lee Beyer

Grace J. Kim

Generation Grandparent

First Sleepover at Bubbe’s

I worried that at night, when homesickness tends to intensify, my granddaughter would cry for Mommy and Daddy. I was prepared to not get much sleep.

By Paula Span

Cari Vander Yacht

The Wild Ways Parents Preserve Their Kids’ Memories

There’s nothing wrong with collecting belly buttons, teeth and locks of hair. It’s just part of the process.

By Jessica Delfino

Daniel Zender

Remote School as the Gateway Drug to Social Media

For parents who did not expect their children to have devices or use social media so young, virtual learning was an unexpected push into the digital deep end.

By Connie Chang

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Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories.

I bought cheap plastic sea animal figurines from Amazon, gave them along with a bowl of water to my 3-year-old and told him to play “in the ocean.” He can sit at the kitchen table for up to (and even sometimes over) an hour while I do work. — Tory Somers, South Orange, N.J.

If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us.

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