Should I Pretend to Love My Stepchildren?

I do not have any real feelings for them.

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Illustration by Tomi Um   Ethicist Should I Pretend to Love My Stepchildren? The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on whether it’s O.K. to shed your stepfamily and more. By Kwame Anthony Appiah

I married into my husband’s family decades ago. We have one child together, whom I adore. The rest of the children are from his previous marriages. I get along superficially with all of them. I make conversation and act interested in what they have to say. I tell them I love them when they say it to me. Generally, they have treated me very well, and I think they actually do love me. But I do not have any real feelings for them. I have never wanted much contact with people. Having interactions with all of them over these years has been painful for me. I fantasize about severing contact with his family once my husband dies. Is my pretending to care about them unethical? Read the Ethicist’s response here.

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