This July 4th, Consider Switching To Glow Sticks

July 4, 2020

A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.

Last summer we were celebrating the Fourth of July with our closest friends. I’m sorry to report that this anecdote is going to get real gendered, so strap in. The moms were inside talking over the remnants of dessert, while the dads were outside with the kids lighting sparklers. A dad who will remain nameless handed my 2-year-old a sparkler. You know where this is going: Cue her running back inside the apartment crying because her tiny fingers were burned.

Unsurprisingly, the pediatricians who Melinda Wenner Moyer spoke to for her piece about Fourth of July safety think that parents should not be setting off any at-home fireworks, not even sparklers, and suggest switching to glow sticks instead. However, they also realize that with many big celebrations canceled this year, a lot of families won’t be able to resist the siren song of explosions, so they have advice for best practices.

Also this week, Kelly Glass takes a sobering look at the way Black families have been disproportionately harmed by the pandemic, and how the effects on Black children may be long-lasting. Christina Caron, our staff reporter, has a piece about how parents across the country are navigating often confusing and conflicting public health directives about the virus. “There are so many conflicting things coming out of everyone’s mouth that I don’t know what to believe,” said Gary Hubbard, 39, a father of two in Orlando. “All the information is so fluid.”

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We have a piece by Emily Bobrow about how the pandemic has made life even more precarious for many nannies; a bittersweet essay from Danielle Campoamor about what it’s like when your journey to motherhood is tainted by the loss of a twin but enhanced by the birth of the other; a delightful musing from Stephanie Fairyington about how she’s enjoying full-time motherhood in ways she never expected; and advice from experts about how to deal with intrusive thoughts as a new parent.

Finally, we have an open letter to parents of children with autism, written by Madeleine Ryan, an adult with autism. “I’d like to add some sparkle to the damaged narrative. There really is no need to cure children with autism, or to apologize on their behalf, or to change them. All you need to do is listen to them with your heart,” she writes.

Thanks for reading!

— Jessica Grose, lead editor, NYT Parenting

P.S. Today’s One Thing comes from the At Home section, which features tips on how to create your own Olympic Games with your family.

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THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

Getty Images

Planning Your Own Fireworks? Why Families Should Take Caution

Many home fireworks are dangerous for kids and even illegal.

By Melinda Wenner Moyer

Jim Wilson/The New York Times

Black Families Were Hit Hard by the Pandemic. The Effects on Children May Be Lasting.

Setbacks in household wealth and the toxic stress of racism can have long-term effects, experts said.

By Kelly Glass

Charlotte Kesl for The New York Times

As Coronavirus Cases Surge, Families Struggle to Draw Boundaries

States are rushing to reopen and parents are left to decide for themselves what is safe.

By Christina Caron

Josefina Santos for The New York Times

I Never Expected to Love Full-Time Motherhood

A queer woman who once shunned tradition discovers domestic calm in uncertain times.

By Stephanie Fairyington

Sasha Arutyunova for The New York Times

For Nannies, Both a Job and a Family Can Abruptly Disappear

Nannies are often told they’re like members of the families they work for, but during a pandemic, they can be let go rather quickly.

By Emily Bobrow

Danielle Campoamor

When Motherhood Means Carrying Life and Death

Parenthood is nothing if not a constant barrage of juxtaposing feelings. My foray into motherhood wasn’t tainted by loss, it was enhanced by it.

By Danielle Campoamor

Hector Mackenzie

Dear Parents: Your Child With Autism Is Perfect

Children with autism express themselves truthfully regardless of the social consequences. I know, because I am autistic.

By Madeleine Ryan

Helen Li

Having Disturbing Thoughts as a New Parent? Here’s How to Cope

Intrusive thoughts can be terrifying. Exercises, like distancing, can reduce parents’ anxieties.

By Juli Fraga and Karen Kleiman

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Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories.

We’ve convinced our 5 ½-year-old that rather than calling us back into her room 800 times to answer all of life’s deep questions — which conveniently always surface at bedtime — that she should write them down instead. We leave paper and a marker in her bed and she writes down questions until she falls asleep. Then we go over the questions during breakfast when I’m fully caffeinated. — Jennifer Lewis, Seattle

If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us.

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