Children Make You Old in the Face

May 29, 2021

A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.

Golden Cosmos

Lately I have been watching TikTok videos to unwind after a long day of parenting and working. I resisted the lure of the Tok for months, thinking it was like a high-pitched sound that only people under 30 could hear and enjoy. But I have succumbed to the social media network's frenetic joys, and have been particularly mesmerized by posts featuring plastic surgery and cosmetic injections, probably because it feels like my face has aged 10,000 years since March 2020. (Though to be fair, even before the pandemic, I used to joke that the tagline of NYT Parenting should be: "Children make you old in the face.")

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In an article I wrote about the "surgerytok" phenomenon this week, I investigate the allure of these videos, part of which is their authenticity and transparency. We are constantly bombarded with images of celebrities and influencers that defy the reality of aging, and many of these posts lift the veil. As Dr. Lara Devgan, a board-certified plastic surgeon put it to me, "Nobody believes it's kale and lemon water keeping you wrinkle-free."

In an essay, Glynnis MacNicol writes that after spending "the last 14 months staring at my neck," she has learned to embrace her natural self at 43, rather than go the route of aesthetic enhancement. "When I think about beauty standards these days — the ones my mother followed, the ones I have — what I mostly consider is all the space the not feeling good took up," Glynnis decides. As the mother of two daughters, I can only hope that my girls are filled up with that good feeling, rather than endless, soul-sucking critique.

Also this week: Moderna's vaccine has shown promising results in kids ages 12-17. As Emily Anthes notes: "The Moderna results are not a surprise and match what Pfizer reported in its trial of young adolescents. But they add to a growing body of evidence that the vaccines are safe and effective in children." Pam Belluck reports on a small study of children with Covid inflammatory syndrome, or MIS-C. These children appeared to recover from their most serious symptoms, but still had muscle weakness and emotional difficulties six months after their illness.

Mara Altman explores why the art world may make it difficult for mothers to thrive. And finally, the world says goodbye to Eric Carle, the genius behind "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." He was the author and illustrator of more than 70 books for children.

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When asked why he thought "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" had such lasting popularity, he responded that the book gave children hope for the future:

"Children need hope," he said. "You — little insignificant caterpillar — can grow up into a beautiful butterfly and fly into the world with your talent."

Thanks for reading.

— Jessica Grose, columnist, NYT Parenting

P.S. The Daily team followed one Texas high school's reopening during the pandemic in a four-part audio series. Join Michael Barbaro as he catches up with the people behind "Odessa," and marks the end of a school year like no other. Times subscribers can R.S.V.P. for this free event on June 10 at 6 p.m. E.T.

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THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

Anna Godeassi

The Mesmerizing Pull of Plastic Surgery Videos

Procedures used to be done in secret, but in the post-Kardashian world, transparency is just part of the process.

By Jessica Grose

Michelle Mildenberg

I Feel Great About My Neck

It took me to my mid-40s to learn not to depend on anyone else's approval of my appearance.

By Glynnis MacNicol

Brandon Thibodeaux for The New York Times

Moderna Vaccine Highly Effective in Adolescents, Company Says

The U.S., which has a surplus of vaccines, could soon have two options for teens while many countries face shortages.

By Emily Anthes

Justin Tallis/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

Children With Covid Inflammatory Syndrome May Overcome Their Most Serious Symptoms

A small study found that six months after hospitalization, most children with MIS-C did not have debilitating health issues. But some had lingering muscle weakness and emotional difficulties.

By Pam Belluck

Reut Asimini

in her words

Why Do We Make It So Hard for Artist Moms to Flourish?

Many artists feel pressure to choose between a professional career and motherhood. But for those who do have kids, the boundaries between life and art can blur — and that can be a good thing.

By Mara Altman

Jodi Hilton

Eric Carle, Author of 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar,' Dies at 91

A self-described "picture writer," he wrote and illustrated more than 70 books for young children, selling more than 170 million copies.

By Julia Carmel

Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let's celebrate the tiny victories.

We play a game called "Night Night, Mama," where I lay on the floor and my 2-year-old pats my back. — Tara Kotagal, Chicago

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