Should I Report Officiants Who Won’t Marry Same-Sex Couples?

November 23, 2019

I’m a professional wedding officiant and longtime L.G.B.T.Q. rights advocate. While I recognize that some officiants and other vendors may have ethical or religious objections to same-sex unions, I rejoice that marriage equality is the law of the land.

Many wedding expos, websites, registries, professional organizations and social media groups have nondiscrimination policies requiring all vendors to serve same-sex couples. I know several officiants who participate in these and who will not marry L.G.B.T.Q. couples. I’m wrestling with whether to “out” them to the gatekeepers.

These other officiants aren’t costing me business. If anything, their exclusiveness may cause some couples to seek me out. But it’s a matter of principle — those who serve the public should not be allowed to discriminate, and same-sex couples should be spared a jolting refusal as they plan their special day.

Do I have a duty to report these noncompliant officiants? Should I remind them of the nondiscrimination policies? Or should I mind my own business and let an aggrieved couple report them?

Read the Ethicist’s response here.

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