Parents Deserve Cookies Too

August 22, 2020

A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.

Golden Cosmos

Jessica Grose, our NYT Parenting editor, is on vacation this week so I’m filling in for her here, and, naturally, my first thought when I sat down to write was: Do we have any cookies? Or maybe some cheese? Working from home these past (checks notes) six months has meant easy access to my pantry, not to mention the scraps my children leave on their plates — mouthfuls of mac and cheese that often turn into my meals.

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That’s why a piece about the pandemic bringing back parents’ fraught food habits by Virginia Sole-Smith really resonated with me. One of the moms she interviewed shares my personal philosophy that Oreos should be in the house at all times. More important, Virginia spoke to therapists about how parents can prioritize physical health without sacrificing sanity. Lisa Du Breuil, a psychotherapist who treats patients with eating disorders at Massachusetts General Hospital, said, “I feel like I’m a broken record, saying: ‘This is really hard. Just getting through the day is something to feel good about. You don’t need to be ashamed of the fact that you’re finding certain foods comforting.’ The problem is, we pathologize this benign way of taking care of ourselves.”

Also this week, we have more guidance to help parents prepare for a very different school year. Our NYT Parenting reporter, Christina Caron, noticed a question that has been somewhat absent from the conversation around distance learning: With more children attending school remotely on video, how is their privacy protected? She sought advice from experts who specialize in online education and safety to find out what steps parents and teachers can take to build a safe digital environment. Kelly Hoover Greenway looked into how to protect children’s eyesight as screen time becomes a bigger part of their lives. And, for families who have kids attending school or day care in person after months of isolation, Christina Couch wrote about dealing with possible separation anxiety, a normal and healthy developmental stage.

We also published a beautiful essay from Imani Bashir about the challenges of extended breastfeeding. She planned to nurse for two years, or until it was more of a mutual decision between herself and her son not to. Imani wrote: “I wasn’t certain of all the mechanics that came with the act of breastfeeding, or the possibility that sometimes babies may not latch right away and the act could be physically and mentally taxing. However, that set intention turned into a two-and-a-half-year commitment that my son and I were fortunate to embark on — together.”

Finally, have I mentioned that it’s been six months since I started pandemic parenting? Many of you are probably hitting that milestone too, but just like parenting itself, caring for kids during this time is not a monolithic experience — the scenes in homes across the United States have been strikingly varied. Some parents who are lucky enough to do paid work from home are drowning; essential workers have had to patch together child care and navigate how to protect their families from exposure; expectant mothers are struggling with the new logistics around giving birth; and many new families still can’t get essential supplies for their babies. Now, we want to know: What has pandemic parenting looked and felt like for you? To share your story, please fill out this form. If you’re selected to be featured, a reporter will be in touch with you.

Thanks for reading!

— Farah Miller, content strategy director, NYT Parenting

THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

Scott Gelber

How to Protect Your Family’s Privacy During Remote Learning

Building a safe digital environment is essential to making remote learning work, experts say.

By Christina Caron

Ping Zhu

The Monotony of Family Meals Can Trigger Past Disordered Eating

The constant feeding of our children without a break can compound parental eating issues.

By Virginia Sole-Smith

Terry Bates

Breastfeeding My Son Was a Long, Hard Journey, but We Took It Together

I nursed for 2 ½ years, doing what was right for my family and ignoring others’ comments.

By Imani Bashir

Loris Lora

How to Handle Separation Anxiety Meltdowns in Kids

The pandemic has made some children even more worried about leaving the sides of parents and caregivers.

By Christina Couch

Eva Cremers

How to Protect Children’s Eyes During Remote Learning

You can preserve your kids’ vision even as screen-time becomes a bigger part of their lives. No special glasses required.

By Kelly Hoover Greenway

Getty Images

What Parents Need to Know About Learning Pods

As many schools remain closed, families are seeking alternatives to the virtual classroom.

By Dani Blum and Farah Miller

Getty Images

Getting Children Flu Shots Is Even More Important This Year

Doctors offer advice on when and where to safely get vaccinated.

By Christina Caron

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Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories.

My 18-month-old and 3-year-old have discovered that they love quarantine dance parties. The three of us tell Alexa to play our favorite music, and we sing loudly and dance — while I also get some cleaning done! Sometimes we even FaceTime Grammy to join in, and that’s at least an extra 10 minutes of uninterrupted chore time for mommy. — Stacey Gawde, Austin, Texas

If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us.

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