What Going Back to School Feels Like

August 15, 2020

A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.

Golden Cosmos

As many of you send your kids back to a physical school or day care over the coming weeks, you may be wondering: How will my children react to wearing masks for hours, and will they be freaked out by all the changes? And will I spend my days wracked with anxiety over their well-being? So we asked parents in South Korea, Germany and Switzerland, countries whose children returned to school in a world reshaped by the pandemic, to tell us how it impacted them and their kids.

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Firstly, it’s worth pointing out that none of these countries experienced the high infection rates that are coursing through parts of the United States. With that caveat in mind, all three parents felt that the social benefits their children received from in-person school were meaningful. “I wanted to let Tae-yeon continue experiencing what it was like to be in a peer community; to be a regular student routinely sitting at a desk and listening to the teacher; and to mingle with other kids, if only for brief moments,” Yeon-ju Hong wrote about sending her 8-year-old daughter back into the classroom.

Also this week, Christina Caron, our NYT Parenting staff reporter, looks into how new moms are getting breastfeeding support during the pandemic, when many of the typical in-person resources are not available. Paul Underwood gives guidance about how to bolster your kid’s self-esteem without overpraising them. “Praise also has a dark side,” Paul says, and we should focus on praising actions and process, rather than a child’s innate qualities.

Finally, we have a trio of heartbreakers. Amit Majmudar, a nuclear radiologist and poet, writes about what it is like to raise twins when one of them has a life-threatening heart defect. Gavin Jenkins profiles two doctors in New York who sent their children to live with family in Singapore while they served on the front lines of the outbreak. They kept their kids safe, but had no idea it would take 109 days to be reunited.

And Jessica Tom, a novelist and chef, writes about being pregnant with her first child at the same time as her younger brother battles leukemia. Jessica is having a boy, and she describes looking at her brother’s baby pictures. “They’re not just a peek of what my baby will look like, but a snapshot of simpler times, hope and grief twisting again and again, like a Möbius strip.”

Thanks for reading.

— Jessica Grose, lead editor, NYT Parenting

P.S. Spend a couple of hours celebrating 100 years of votes for women — and the new book “Finish the Fight!: The Brave and Revolutionary Women Who Fought for the Right to Vote,” written by The New York Times journalists Veronica Chambers, Jennifer Schuessler, Amisha Padnani, Jennifer Harlan, Sandra E. Garcia and Vivian Wang — at a special suffrage-themed CraftJam. You’ll learn how to stitch the suffragist leader Ida B. Wells-Barnett as well as buttons and pins worn by the women who fought for the vote. Register for a session today or on the 22nd, and read an excerpt from the book here.

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Coronavirus Schools Briefing

A newsletter on how the pandemic is upending education. Coming soon.

THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

João Fazenda

Are You Overpraising Your Child?

All those “Good jobs!” might be undermining kids’ independence and self-confidence.

By Paul L. Underwood

Natalie Keyssar for The New York Times

We Didn’t See Our Kids for 109 Days

Two Manhattan doctors sent their girls to Singapore while they worked the front lines — and then the country closed its borders.

By Gavin Jenkins

Alessandra De Cristofaro

With Less Breastfeeding Support, Mothers Are Turning to Online Help

The pandemic has resulted in fewer resources for breastfeeding women, but experts say it’s still crucial to seek guidance.

By Christina Caron

Haiyun Jiang for The New York Times

Identical Twins With Two Very Different Destinies

A father looks to science and faith to understand his son's congenital heart defect.

By Amit Majmudar

Angie Wang

Waiting for My Baby Boy, Worrying About My Baby Brother

It’s hard to savor the joys of first-time motherhood while your brother fights against cancer.

By Jessica Tom

Tim Franco for The New York Times

For Mom in South Korea, Sending a Child Back to School Was Worth the Risk

The safety measures in place, like glass partitions and reduced classroom sizes, eased her worries. Plus, Korean children “are even more obsessed about wearing masks than adults,” she said.

By Hong Yeon-Ju

Djamila Grossman for The New York Times

‘Is the Coronavirus Gone?’ a 5-Year-Old in Switzerland Asks

After a mother calmed her son’s pandemic fears, he went back to school happy. Now the family prepares for another anxiety-filled return to school.

By Sharon Kim Soldati

Katrin Streicher for The New York Times

When Schools Reopened in Germany, ‘We Swallowed Our Misgivings’

A mother recounted how worried she was sending her children back to in-person classes in the spring. But seeing her son “blossom” and the school’s safety measures eased her concerns.

By Luisa Weiss

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Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories.

To keep my toddler occupied while I’m making dinner, I fill a large bowl with soap and water and leave it in the sink. She is happy to stand on a stool and splash around with cups and spoons “mixing soup” for a solid 20 minutes.— Sam Bodnar, Nashville, Tenn.

If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us.

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