These groups of a dozen or so veterans usually span all ages, races, branches of service and ranks
 | | Tracie Rosado, who left the Army in 2003 after serving in Iraq, found it difficult to reconnect with old friends once she re-entered civilian life.Eli Durst for The New York Times |
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On Wednesday, I reported on the Women Veterans Network, or WoVeN, that brings together women who have served in uniform in small, peer-led social-networking groups all over the country. In speaking with a number of leaders within the organization, I was struck by just how similar the experiences of many former servicewomen are — and not in ways the Pentagon would be proud of. |
These groups of a dozen or so veterans usually span all ages, races, branches of service and ranks, no matter where they meet. The weekly meetings often reveal common themes among these women: ostracization by male colleagues, physical and sexual assault, verbal abuse and a lack of support from their chains of command. Post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from these experiences is fairly common as well. |
One person I spoke to was Trish Ross, a retired colonel who served in the Air Force for 25 years and who now serves as a WoVeN peer leader in Warner Robins, Ga. Her story was similar to many others I heard while reporting this article. |
"We realized we all had been divorced, or were single moms, and had experienced sexual harassment or sexual trauma," Ross said. "We forged some very strong bonds as a group and as subsets that still exist today. We know there's someone we can talk to who understands what we're going through." |
Early in her military career, Ross was told by one senior officer that women should not be in the military. "I was a first lieutenant; he was a major — my direct superior," Ross said. "I was a little scared of what that might do to my career progression, but I was like, 'I'm going to prove you wrong.'" The incident sticks in Ross's mind because that officer tried to downgrade the level of award she was to receive at the end of her tour at Randolph Air Force Base in Texas. But commanders at higher levels interceded on her behalf, and she received the Meritorious Service Medal, which is often bestowed on more senior officers, for her work. |
Before retiring in 2014, Ross attended the Department of Defense's weeklong mandatory course for all service members leaving the military and noted that there were no briefings specifically for women, other than one advising them on how they should dress in the civilian world. |
In her post-military career, Ross is working to help women who have been treated similarly. As the head of a state-sponsored veterans program in Georgia, Ross reaches out to women before they leave the military — hoping to offer them advice and connect them with services of which they may not be aware. |
Ross noted that in the first WoVeN group she led, she had one participant who retired more than 20 years earlier as a sergeant major in the Army. Enduring hostility, sexual trauma and single motherhood while in uniform, she told Ross, "I was just here to check you out." She had been burned by other women's groups that were full of gossip and drama, and she told Ross that hers was the first group in which she felt she had a community she could trust. The group supported the retired sergeant major in some struggles she was having in her own life. As a caretaker for her family, she had long placed family members' needs above her own — but her cohort gave her space to take care of herself. |
"We'd all been in her boots," Ross said. |
John Ismay is a staff writer who covers armed conflict for The New York Times Magazine. He can be reached at john.ismay@nytimes.com. |
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