Can I Quit Trying to Teach Ethics to Ill-Behaved Children?

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October 19, 2019

THE ETHICIST

the ethicist

Can I Quit Trying to Teach Ethics to Ill-Behaved Children?

The magazine's Ethicist columnist on whether to keep doing volunteer work you promised to do but aren't good at and more.

by kwame anthony appiah

I volunteer at my child's elementary school teaching ethics once a week. In my public-school system in Australia, parents can opt for ethics classes for their children instead of religious instruction from volunteers of various faiths; parents can also choose "nonscripture," a class period during which a child does his or her homework. Ethics teachers follow a set script, approved by the department of education, and cannot depart from it. The job of the ethics teacher is to facilitate discussion and encourage the children to disagree and listen respectfully.

But, the thing is, it's going very badly. The class is absolute mayhem; I had no idea students could be this wild and disrespectful. When I started last year with a different class, the behavior was similarly challenging, but I viewed it as an interesting albeit unpleasant learning curve for someone with little experience of children. Now on weekends, I am starting to dread Monday's class and wake up on the day with a stomachache. I fear I am starting to dislike children, and I also wonder whether students who are this rude to an adult will take it into the playground against my own child (who is not in this class but in the same year).

It is not every pupil — some are lovely and doing their best; some are just energetic and need a bit of help focusing — and I feel I owe it to them to stick with the class (there is a scarcity of volunteers). All the volunteers are asked to commit for a year, which I'm not even halfway through. As a parent, I'm always encouraging children to stick with something tough. But I worry I am patently unsuited to this task and that it is having a negative impact on me and my health. I don't want so many unpleasant interactions with children, particularly my child's peers. It's also unclear whether I am bringing anything of value to the children.

Is it better to stick with something that's awful and possibly pointless because you made a commitment? Or to put yourself and your stomach first? Name Withheld

Read the Ethicist's reply here.

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