It would turn my stomach.
"When my sibling suffered an untimely death, my sibling's spouse inherited a rather large estate: cash, real estate and investments. During the process of funeral and subsequent estate expenses, the newly widowed spouse feigned poverty and received thousands of dollars in donations from friends and extended family. I even offered to cover the mortgage. When we learned of the spouse's actual wealth, my siblings and I were appalled by the deception, which made our sibling look like a pauper. |
After the dust settled, and the majority of us learned we were much less well off than our sibling's spouse, it was suggested that the spouse give all donations to a charity in our sibling's name. This suggestion was not only ignored but followed by more demands for support from me and my well-off sister. |
My dilemma relates to a project that was initiated equally between my sibling and me many years ago but which was kept in my name only. While it started off equally, my sibling was unwilling to keep up with the ongoing expenses and at one point asked to be paid off based on whatever I thought was fair. Hence the spouse's demand on me now. |
While I still don't have a clear idea what my sibling's share ought to be, as a tribute, I decided to make a donation to one of my sibling's favorite charities in an amount equal to the donations that the widowed spouse received. In essence, I directed the funds donated to the spouse where they morally belong, an act that my sibling most likely would have approved of. Still, I owe the estate more, and when figuring out how much, I will include the tax benefit I will gain from the charitable deduction. |
It appears that my sibling's spouse also has limited interest in providing for their children. I surely don't want to hand over anything to my sibling's spouse, but to give it to the children directly would be a way of enabling the spouse to skirt the obligation to care for them. |
I could continue to make charitable contributions in my sibling's name, but what right do I have to use money belonging to others? (What I have already done may not have been entirely proper.) I could put funds in trust for the kids but would rather gift them a nontaxable amount annually. Or I could just wait until the kids need help with something critical. Turning any funds over to my sibling's spouse would turn my stomach." |
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